The “Norm”

Let me tell you a little bit about my job. I am a Graduate Hall Coordinator at Texas Tech University for a brand new upper class, suite style complex on campus called West Village. It is a really laid back job, for the most part, and I am really happy here. I am getting all the practical experience that I could ask for (plus a lot extra) as graduate student, my department is completely supportive and loving, and I am paid very well to further my education.

However, I had a lot of fears coming here. When looking for jobs in housing through the Oshkosh Placement Exchange (OPE), I was almost 100% determined not to go South. The reasons for that being that 1.) I am pale and can’t take all the sun, 2.) It’s HOT, and 3.) I lean pretty far to the left on the political scale. Texas, in particular, was not even on my radar, because of all the news articles I had been reading about politics happening within the state. So, when Tech offered me a position, I was unsure I even wanted accept. Long story short, though, Tech totally rolls out the red carpet when they interview you.  They welcomed me with open arms, sold me on this fantastic institution, and I became the Red Raider I am today. Despite my misgivings, I still don’t regret the decision to come here, and a little dose of change is good for everyone.

But my love for the department, my new institution, and the adventure that comes with moving far away did not diminish the unease I had coming down to the Red South. And, to be honest, lot of the preconceived notions I had about Texas have come true. Life is a lot different here in conservative West Texas than it was in Illinois, which I expected. Throughout the month long training exercises all of us new University Housing employees underwent, I saw some of this “culture” creep in. A few examples of this are as follows:

• We’re a PUBLIC institution that celebrates Christmas with a giant tree and lights on campus..
• Students are allowed to hang rebel flags in their windows, because it is free speech.
• The Student Health Center does not give out condoms, despite Texas having one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country (I know it is silly, but this one blows my mind).

Student here have often never left Texas, never experienced other viewpoints, and know little of the outside world. The conservative, Christian norm is everywhere, and we were taught in training that we would need to accept this, because that is the “culture we live in”. It is only the start of the year, and although the way things are do not surprise me, this issue has already proven itself to be the biggest challenge I will probably face in my time here.

I grew up non-denominational Christian, and what I had always taken from church was to live my life in love and not judging others. Although I do not believe in organized religion now (another story for another time), I kept those lessons with me all my life, and I chose Student Affairs because it is one of the most liberal fields you can get into that focuses on those two ideals. Housing, in particular, is there to advocate for all students and care for them equally, so that they can be successful in and out of the classroom. We’re not there to judge, but to help everyone from every background. 

So, although I acknowledge the “norms” of this university, I still want to be that advocate for change. To do this, I signed up for the University Student Housing Social Justice Committee, and this allows me to feel like I am still helping. It is hard, however, because even in this committee, I feel the pressures of West Texas. The committee is currently working on putting together the “Tunnel of Oppression” program, which allows students to see a series of scenes that will bring awareness to different social issues that relate to them as a student. It should be a great learning event, especially for many students who have never even heard the word privilege before. However, although the school is showing support by forcing first year students to attend this event, we have to be careful. Despite many of these scenes being very tame compared to other schools hosting the event, we have already been told that we need to be very careful in conveying these scenes to students. Again, the “culture” has to be minded. 

In the link provided, I have give you all the hardest hitting scene we are displaying at our event. Although I recommend you watch the whole video, we only use 11:58 to the end of the clip. 

This fantastic film is by Rocco Shields, and I recommend you check out the project centered around it at http://www.loveisallyouneedthemovie.com. The issue we are facing with the film is that the committee has been called out before about using too much “triggering” material, despite this event’s purpose of triggering emotion on tough topics. Already, we are worried that we can’t use this clip, or at least all of it, because of the violence exhibited in the end. I hope this doesn’t happen, but the pressure to not upset the norm is always here.

I wanted to share my story about this particular part of housing and Texas with this clip, because I think all of it says something about the reality of conforming to things because they are the “norm”. In my opinion, tradition is a beautiful thing, and we all grew up in different ways. I do not, by any means, expect Texas to be anything like my home in Illinois. I came here for a change. But the point of events like this and the point of Student Affairs, to me, is to help people grow and to ready them for a broader society outside of their home.  

As this movie shows, sometimes the norm is ridiculous. Sometimes, it should be challenged. Society is made up of many different people and different ideas that are often quite varied from what we grew up around, and we cannot just refuse to interact with them. Homophobia is a huge issue in this state (check out some of that legislation!), and this movie has the potential to expose that issue. The issues exhibited by the actors, as the movie expresses in the end, have all happened in real life. I imagine, that many of them have happened in the Lubbock area with its long standing thoughts on Christianity and the place of homosexuality in that religious spectrum. Now I don’t believe everyone here is a part of that problem, but it is an issue here and through out the country. So, if we see something wrong, shouldn’t we say something regardless of if it may upset the majority? At what point does minding culture mean allowing for closed mindedness?

There are some scary norms in this country, particularly for the LGBT community and the film our committee wants to show:

• 9 our of 10 LGBT students report being bullied over their sexual orientation, and much of that bullying has to do with the breaking of gender norms of appearance (Gay Bullying Statistics, 2013)
• 28% of LGBT students fear so much for their safety that they drop out of school (Gay Bullying Statistics, 2013)
• LGBT identifying individuals are FOUR TIMES more likely to commit suicide than their straight peers (Suicide Prevention Resources, 2014).

We live in a world that revolves around a heterosexual normative with approximately 92% of American citizens identifying as straight (Special Report: 3.4% of U.S. Adults Identify as LGBT, 2012). Heterosexuality and marginalization of LGBT groups is/has been the “norm”. Does that make that the right way to be? Does that make these statistics, okay? Of course not. 

A norm can be just fine, but we should not be afraid to question it. We should be encouraged to challenge the world around us, and break the norm where we feel it needs to be broken. When we allow people to be berated for challenging the norm, that is how you get some of these statistics about LGBT kids, who are born outside of the norm.

So, this is what I will try to do, despite the “culture”. I want to help and sometimes that means moving past the norm. Change helps us grow, and I am determined to help students I meet transform.

“Everybody has accepted by now that change is unavoidable. But that still implies that change is like death and taxes it should be postponed as long as possible and no change would be vastly preferable. But in a period of upheaval, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm.”

– Peter F. Drucker

Sources:

Gay Bullying Statistics. (2013). Retrieved from Bullying Statistics: http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/gay-bullying-statistics.html

Shields, K. R. (2014). Retrieved from Love is all you need?: http://www.loveisallyouneedthemovie.com/

Special Report: 3.4% of U.S. Adults Identify as LGBT. (2012, October 18). Retrieved from Gallup Politics: http://www.gallup.com/poll/158066/special-report-adults-identify-lgbt.aspx

Suicide Prevention Resources. (2014). Retrieved from The Trevor Project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/facts-about-suicide