Mizzou Protests Reflection: Why don’t we believe our students?

There are some days when you come home with a heavy heart.

We’ve all had those long days that leave us dragging. That weight can be added by a long day in the office, a fight with a friend, or a number of other things. For some of us, however, that weight is added a little bit easier.

One of my top Strength’s Finder words is empathy. Although I consider it one of my best strengths, it can also be a little torturous at times. Empathy is “…the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions : the ability to share someone else’s feelings.” For my work in Student Affairs, empathy helps me step out of my own shoes and into those of my students. It’s a wonderful skill that I feel allows me to understand what they are going through and how that effects their development through their education and life. Although this is useful, it has some adverse effects, too.

Sometimes, it hurts. It hurts when I have to have a disciplinary conversation with my students that is hard for them to hear. I know that these conversations could lead to them losing a job or their home in Residence Life. It hurts when I hear about their homesickness and frustrations on test scores. I know that these issue often make our students want to toss away their education. And finally, it hurts when I hear that they are being hurt or mistreated by others. Because in all of these things, I can understand their pain and nearly feel it all myself, but there is often little I can do to alleviate it. My only weapon is education, some campus resources, and a good ear, but those things often do not have the immediate effects I would like them to have.

One such moment that hurts me is when I see my students or friends or anyone else, really, experience oppression. “Institutional Oppression is the systematic mistreatment of people within a social identity group, supported and enforced by the society and its institutions, solely based on the person’s membership in the social identity group.” Seeing those I care about shut in a box by the world because of the color of their skin or their culture or their religion or anything else beyond their control, is probably the most painful experience of them all. It’s only made worse when you think about how many people don’t believe the experience of those in the box is legitimate.

I can tell you it is legitimate.

I can tell you, because I see it day after day, and I feel the pain of my students and colleagues and friends. It permeates my campus. It’s whispered by students who either truly believe their oppressive words or who are parroting things they were taught by elders. It’s felt by students who quietly try to ignore it or laugh it off or boil in their own anger. Whether they experience in person or they see it on the news or they see it on an anonymous YikYak post, oppression isolates and harms people. Like any other form of psychological abuse, the effects are lasting.

I recognize that I have been relatively privileged in my life, but my own experiences as a woman and my empathetic personality have made oppression a topic that I am particularly fiery about. I’m sure most of you that have me on Facebook are pretty tired of my endless social justice posts. Sometimes I feel ashamed at my own voice and the effects it probably has on my relationships. However, the one thing that always makes me return to advocacy is seeing a student or a colleague affected by these issues.

Just like I want to help my students succeed academically, I want them succeed mentally and have the best opportunities. However, with experiences (Swastikas, racist language, and threats abound) like those at Mizzou and Yale not being uncommon, I can understand the fear and anguish of my students and others. What’s worse is that people often think racism is isolated to a couple individuals or doesn’t exist at all. What’s is worse is that, although I have empathy for my students, many do not. It didn’t take too long to scroll down on an article of about Mizzou protest to see grown adults calling the students involved a bunch of overreacting, hate-mongering, animals. Funny enough, it didn’t take long for bomb threats and gun threats to get lobbed at the students of color on campus either.

However, I can tell you that those students are not overreacting. They see something legitimate that we want to close our eyes to.

About a month ago (2015!!) I logged onto my university’s YikYak and saw these:

These weren’t the only ones either. I deleted my YikYak, because I couldn’t stomach any more. I thought it was just one student trolling at first, but then I saw multiple comments by different people and likes on racist jokes.

Let me ask you: What do I tell a African American or Latino student who has seen these posts? How do I tell them they will be safe on our campus?

But we’re in a post racial society, right? Our students are overreacting, right? It’s all in their head? The only thing keeping them from succeeding is themselves, not the overwhelming racism still alive and well in our education system or society. Right?

I can try and educate my students as much as possible with my many wonderful colleagues, but we need more than just us to fix this problem.

We, as a society, have lost empathy. Those YikYaks, the threats to students at Mizzou, the girls kicked out of a “white girls only” fraternity party at Yale…All of it should upset you in 2015. All of it should upset our students and their administrations. All of it should be enough to stop the denial. All of it should make us think of our own experiences and how we wanted to have a best chance at reaching our dreams. All of us should think of how we want our children to be cared for and succeed. Then all of us should think about what it would be like if you or your child saw these hateful and often threatening posts everyday on social media. Would you feel safe at school? Would it hinder you? Would you want to fight back?

These students at these universities are not making up this problem. They are fighting to change something that is wrong within their institutions. They are fighting to heal a wound that psychologically hinders them everyday. So, when you criticize these students, please stop and listen and try to put yourself in their shoes. If they felt heard and understood by their peers and their institutions and their government, you wouldn’t have the protests that so many of you criticize.

But until we hear them and we try to understand and we realize that these problems are real, these protests will continue and education will suffer. So will the world.

Light at the end of the Tunnel

Well, it has been awhile since I have been on here. I am the kind of person who often starts projects and then lets them fall through the cracks…especially when I am busy. Which, oh boy, am I busy. However, the project I have been busy working on lately is what I want to talk to you all about today.

This last month, I have been pretty much consumed with my social justice committee’s biggest event of the year: Tunnel of Oppression. For those of you not familiar with Tunnel, it is an interactive program designed to expose its participants to a wide range of social issues facing the world today using acted scenes, monologues, multimedia and a wide range of facts. The first Tunnel was actually started in my home state at Western Illinois University in 1983, and this last Tuesday and Wednesday was Texas Tech’s 9th year holding the program. We had over 500 students, faculty and staff go through.

Although I was worried about our Tunnel not doing enough, it actually went really well. We had 11 rooms covering the following topics: Ethnocentrism, Bias, Privilege, Body Image, Transgender, Relationship Violence, Racism, Sexual Assault, Disabilities, and LGBT/Suicide. The scenes were created to relate specifically to the issues on Texas Tech’s campus. The final room before debriefing with counseling and housing staff was called the “Hall of Hope”, and that is the room I want to focus on today.

After going through all scenes, Hall of Hope was designed, as its title implies, to give hope. There were four different tables set up in it, three of which had activities and one with take-home information. Two of the tables were dedicated to a project called “Tell Tech”, which was our version of “Post-Secret”. At these tables, students were encouraged to take the markers and paper we gave them to write a secret about themselves relating to the many issues they confronted in the tunnel. Once the card was created, they were told to either hang it up on the clothes lines in the room or put it in a box for us to hang up. The remaining table was called “Healing Raiderland”, which also offered paper and markers to students to write with. However, this time they were told to write things they could do to make Tech a better place and to correct these social issues. I was unsure people would participate, but they did, and the results were amazing.

What was extraordinary about the cards was not simply that student, faculty, and staff participated, but that they truly divulged a piece of themselves. Once a few cards were hung up on the lines, the responses came pouring in. We had so many after the first day that we ran out of clips, and had to take them down so that the second day groups could participate. Before the end of second day, we ran out of room for participants to put them up again and had to start laying them out on the tables. Some hurt your heart to read. Some made you want to take on the world. Some simply offered hope. But ALL of them proved that all the issues covered in Tunnel of Oppression effect people all around us. This is what impacted me most in Tunnel.

I work every day to spread the word of social justice, but there is always much more for me and others to learn. We often place these issues on a pedestal and assume they happen elsewhere, but these cards proved that there were people I knew personally that had the weight of the world on their shoulders. Although I didn’t know all their names, I often saw a student hanging up a card or placing it in a box, and had a face to pair to the words. It made it all so personable, and I gasped multiple times at the words I saw scribbled down on these harmless little pieces of paper.

Below I have posted just a few of the many cards we received those two days. From stories of racism to rape to abuse to self-loathing to pride to hope, these cards told the story of oppression in our society better then any of our scenes ever could. I encourage you to read the few below and reflect on the fact that these are the people of today and these are the things they are facing. Sometimes we get so caught up in the fact that things are better that we forget that our job is far from done.

The final impact moment actually came from another student trying to take in everything written on these papers. As I was reading them at the end of the second day, one of the actors  came up to me after also reading the cards. Clearly overwhelmed, he asked, “So, where is this hope in all of this?” It was such a sincere question, and I could see the emotion in his eyes. I know it is easy to get caught up in the bad, and I know he felt helpless. But there is beauty is all the pain, and a point to activities like this. There only answer I could come up with:

The hope…the light…at the end of Tunnel is this: We are not alone. And together, we can beat this.

             

If you would like any more information about Tunnel of Oppression, or some ideas to implement at your own institutions, please feel free to comment below or email me.

The “Norm”

Let me tell you a little bit about my job. I am a Graduate Hall Coordinator at Texas Tech University for a brand new upper class, suite style complex on campus called West Village. It is a really laid back job, for the most part, and I am really happy here. I am getting all the practical experience that I could ask for (plus a lot extra) as graduate student, my department is completely supportive and loving, and I am paid very well to further my education.

However, I had a lot of fears coming here. When looking for jobs in housing through the Oshkosh Placement Exchange (OPE), I was almost 100% determined not to go South. The reasons for that being that 1.) I am pale and can’t take all the sun, 2.) It’s HOT, and 3.) I lean pretty far to the left on the political scale. Texas, in particular, was not even on my radar, because of all the news articles I had been reading about politics happening within the state. So, when Tech offered me a position, I was unsure I even wanted accept. Long story short, though, Tech totally rolls out the red carpet when they interview you.  They welcomed me with open arms, sold me on this fantastic institution, and I became the Red Raider I am today. Despite my misgivings, I still don’t regret the decision to come here, and a little dose of change is good for everyone.

But my love for the department, my new institution, and the adventure that comes with moving far away did not diminish the unease I had coming down to the Red South. And, to be honest, lot of the preconceived notions I had about Texas have come true. Life is a lot different here in conservative West Texas than it was in Illinois, which I expected. Throughout the month long training exercises all of us new University Housing employees underwent, I saw some of this “culture” creep in. A few examples of this are as follows:

• We’re a PUBLIC institution that celebrates Christmas with a giant tree and lights on campus..
• Students are allowed to hang rebel flags in their windows, because it is free speech.
• The Student Health Center does not give out condoms, despite Texas having one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country (I know it is silly, but this one blows my mind).

Student here have often never left Texas, never experienced other viewpoints, and know little of the outside world. The conservative, Christian norm is everywhere, and we were taught in training that we would need to accept this, because that is the “culture we live in”. It is only the start of the year, and although the way things are do not surprise me, this issue has already proven itself to be the biggest challenge I will probably face in my time here.

I grew up non-denominational Christian, and what I had always taken from church was to live my life in love and not judging others. Although I do not believe in organized religion now (another story for another time), I kept those lessons with me all my life, and I chose Student Affairs because it is one of the most liberal fields you can get into that focuses on those two ideals. Housing, in particular, is there to advocate for all students and care for them equally, so that they can be successful in and out of the classroom. We’re not there to judge, but to help everyone from every background. 

So, although I acknowledge the “norms” of this university, I still want to be that advocate for change. To do this, I signed up for the University Student Housing Social Justice Committee, and this allows me to feel like I am still helping. It is hard, however, because even in this committee, I feel the pressures of West Texas. The committee is currently working on putting together the “Tunnel of Oppression” program, which allows students to see a series of scenes that will bring awareness to different social issues that relate to them as a student. It should be a great learning event, especially for many students who have never even heard the word privilege before. However, although the school is showing support by forcing first year students to attend this event, we have to be careful. Despite many of these scenes being very tame compared to other schools hosting the event, we have already been told that we need to be very careful in conveying these scenes to students. Again, the “culture” has to be minded. 

In the link provided, I have give you all the hardest hitting scene we are displaying at our event. Although I recommend you watch the whole video, we only use 11:58 to the end of the clip. 

This fantastic film is by Rocco Shields, and I recommend you check out the project centered around it at http://www.loveisallyouneedthemovie.com. The issue we are facing with the film is that the committee has been called out before about using too much “triggering” material, despite this event’s purpose of triggering emotion on tough topics. Already, we are worried that we can’t use this clip, or at least all of it, because of the violence exhibited in the end. I hope this doesn’t happen, but the pressure to not upset the norm is always here.

I wanted to share my story about this particular part of housing and Texas with this clip, because I think all of it says something about the reality of conforming to things because they are the “norm”. In my opinion, tradition is a beautiful thing, and we all grew up in different ways. I do not, by any means, expect Texas to be anything like my home in Illinois. I came here for a change. But the point of events like this and the point of Student Affairs, to me, is to help people grow and to ready them for a broader society outside of their home.  

As this movie shows, sometimes the norm is ridiculous. Sometimes, it should be challenged. Society is made up of many different people and different ideas that are often quite varied from what we grew up around, and we cannot just refuse to interact with them. Homophobia is a huge issue in this state (check out some of that legislation!), and this movie has the potential to expose that issue. The issues exhibited by the actors, as the movie expresses in the end, have all happened in real life. I imagine, that many of them have happened in the Lubbock area with its long standing thoughts on Christianity and the place of homosexuality in that religious spectrum. Now I don’t believe everyone here is a part of that problem, but it is an issue here and through out the country. So, if we see something wrong, shouldn’t we say something regardless of if it may upset the majority? At what point does minding culture mean allowing for closed mindedness?

There are some scary norms in this country, particularly for the LGBT community and the film our committee wants to show:

• 9 our of 10 LGBT students report being bullied over their sexual orientation, and much of that bullying has to do with the breaking of gender norms of appearance (Gay Bullying Statistics, 2013)
• 28% of LGBT students fear so much for their safety that they drop out of school (Gay Bullying Statistics, 2013)
• LGBT identifying individuals are FOUR TIMES more likely to commit suicide than their straight peers (Suicide Prevention Resources, 2014).

We live in a world that revolves around a heterosexual normative with approximately 92% of American citizens identifying as straight (Special Report: 3.4% of U.S. Adults Identify as LGBT, 2012). Heterosexuality and marginalization of LGBT groups is/has been the “norm”. Does that make that the right way to be? Does that make these statistics, okay? Of course not. 

A norm can be just fine, but we should not be afraid to question it. We should be encouraged to challenge the world around us, and break the norm where we feel it needs to be broken. When we allow people to be berated for challenging the norm, that is how you get some of these statistics about LGBT kids, who are born outside of the norm.

So, this is what I will try to do, despite the “culture”. I want to help and sometimes that means moving past the norm. Change helps us grow, and I am determined to help students I meet transform.

“Everybody has accepted by now that change is unavoidable. But that still implies that change is like death and taxes it should be postponed as long as possible and no change would be vastly preferable. But in a period of upheaval, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm.”

– Peter F. Drucker

Sources:

Gay Bullying Statistics. (2013). Retrieved from Bullying Statistics: http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/gay-bullying-statistics.html

Shields, K. R. (2014). Retrieved from Love is all you need?: http://www.loveisallyouneedthemovie.com/

Special Report: 3.4% of U.S. Adults Identify as LGBT. (2012, October 18). Retrieved from Gallup Politics: http://www.gallup.com/poll/158066/special-report-adults-identify-lgbt.aspx

Suicide Prevention Resources. (2014). Retrieved from The Trevor Project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/facts-about-suicide